Missing the new me.. Wondering where I'm going now

I can't stop thinking about life. I was so close to being happy. This time last year I was nervous, I was scared. I was starting over and I missed home but I was starting my new life. A year later and I'm stuck. I'm at home.. working my life away. I would give anything for one last 4-square game. For one last midnight talk with JJ. I swear those nights.. I felt invincible. I made great friends.. great crazy crazy friends. I just feel like ive taken 2 steps back. I don't have anyone close to me anymore. No one I can call and talk to till 2 in the morning or just take a walk to the quad. Get some wine and drink in the middle of the most amazing place. Mars Hill has a weird way of forcing a hand print on your life. I thought that place was so boring and so lame but I can't get the great times out of my head. I can't get those amazing people out of my head. Sooooo so many laughs are on those sidewalks, are floating on the grass that I layed on, in the snow that melted away. I'm emotionally broken right now and I just don't know what to do. I feel like life is just punching me in the gut and I have no one to talk to about it. No one to care about little ole insignificant me. Broken.. missing what I had.. missing what i took advantage of. I sleep all day because my dreams bring me back to those times. For the past week I have seen michele, I'm there with her at the mall. I'm with JJ laughing about the smallest thing. I just don't know anymore. I've got to do something because I'm dying inside.